Based on a true story...
We've heard it all, from office politics, annoying colleagues, and just dealing with difficult people, but this one has to take the crown for crazy and delusional. A man was recently put in charge to take over team leadership role, not a promotion, but it has became apparent that it went right over his head. For the past few weeks now and currently going on, he has been saying condescending things to his team/co-workers and has been extremely redundant and obnoxious. We took the time to gather every embarrassing things he has said and we would like to share them with you.
Remember, when you read this, keep in mind to NEVER do this...
"We're going to get raises and bonuses and we're going to be rich…"
"Listen the fact that i'm on the call.. people will show up"
"I want to see this company succeed, I love this company.."
"I told my mom i'm going 100 mph, I'm here for my team, because of your bad habit, sometimes you gotta come in hard and fast"
"Hey I'm moving up and I'm taking you with me…"
"I'm a leader! That's my job.."
"Don't be horrible people"
"You need to go in and do it yourself, I can't do it for you, you'll never learn"
"I'll do this one, but from now on…"
"Maybe I came across a little too…"
"Help me help you, I dont want to micro-manage you guys, if i do everything for you guys you're not going to learn anything"
"I took my team out to lunch today, on me…"
"YOU GUYS THINK I'M A DICTATOR, BUT I'M JUST TRYING TO CHANGE THINGS"
"I'm just trying to shock you guys"
"I'm the leader! How can you do your job if you dont have the right tools, how can you be a carpenter with no saw?"
"The more i repeat it, the more you are going to get it"
"I want you to be the expert in triaging tickets"
"The more you get it, the less ill talk"
"I don't think anyone on your team knows how to do this so I would be happy to teach you. Are you following? Or did I confuse you?"
"Did you know today is my first day on the job and i already worked 120 hours?"
"You're such a great note taker, it's your talent"
"That's your strength, you're very detail oriented"
"I'm not trying to pass the buck but i mean… I am trying to pass the buck because i'm trying to move on"
"I know you're not used to this, but i want you to start jumping in, effective immediately"
"I've got a team that is not rockstars, but i'm gonna make them rockstars, and i'm also gonna need more rockstars"
"Open the hood would ya? You can be driving a ferrari or lambo, but if the engine is rusty, what good is it?"
"Breathe… BREATHE… breathe… everyone take a deep breath for a second, I know it's a lot of work"
"Ok, just making sure you keep your job. Cool beans. Let me know what you have been doing, and what you SHOULD be doing?"
"The best thing to do sometimes is to go in hard and fast and shock the system"
If you want to keep your job, I'll advise you not to talk like this...